Lauras Pool Party. Bet you a fiver one of us will be severely injured in/around the pool. And we’ll end up sleeping cuddling the dog again. I still have the photo evidence that happened last time. &I’m sat here giggling to myself at the fact that the pair of us haven’t actually been taken home in a bodybag yet, or got into trouble when we’ve been out&absolutely steaming haha. I think it’s the fact we’re really, really ridiculously good looking.
The dark horse out of my friends. Sometimes it bothers me that I’m so totally different from them. That I sort of don’t fit in. But then I remember it’s for that reason exactly that they do love me. That I am a bit crazy&messed up, different. We’re all so different, but so similar it’s scary. It’s why we all get on so well, we’re like a little unconventional family unit. Everyone’s got their own personal little demons, been through their own hell. And we’ve all been there for eachother when this shit has been going on.
One thing I can always count on, is that shit’s never boring when we’re all together. It’s a minor miracle that one of us (probably me or Mike) hasn’t gone home in an ambulance yet.
It will be a monumental day&night. I can feel it in my blood&bones. It’s going to be the first time Mike, Laura, Becky, Simone, Mandy&I have been together for far, far, far too long. And that makes me sad. But it does make these sort of occasions ten times more meaningful.
Sun, the sea, a swimming pool, BBQ, plentiful drinks, my bro&gorgeous girls, what more could I ask for?
Oh wait;&i’m getting a visit from someone special the end of that week. That’s all I could ask for.
I miss my friends.
I miss uni.
I miss having my own space.
I miss being able to drink myself into a stupor by 4 in the afternoon.
I miss lectures.
I miss our class.
I miss cooking with my bro.
I miss the Uni girls, so bad.
I want to be able to smoke¬ be paranoid about it.
I want a girl please. Please find me.
I guess it’s time for a serious post. It’s been a while. Plus the fact I get paranoid about my posts/writings&always end up deleting them minutes later.
I e-mailed my Dad last night, in reply to one he sent me about a month ago. It’s without a shadow of a doubt the hardest thing i’ll ever have to do, until we rebuild some semblance of a relationship. And I know I shouldn’t complain, one of my closest friends lost her Father, so I always feel slightly guilty when I think like this. If you read this, I’m sorry <3
I never, ever know what to say to him. Ever. Even times like this when I can simply reply to what he’s written I just have a fucking brainfart and end up deleting everything. It’s not even like I can text him, because I don’t know what mobile number he’s using anymore. I can’t write to him because I don’t have an address for him, or a single clue actually where he lives. It’s been a month since he last e-mailed me, he could be in hospital, or worse. And there’d no way in hell I’d ever know.
It is always a little bittersweet hearing from him,&writing back. I’m glad for the contact, to know he’s ok. But then, it’s normally only monthly I’ll hear from him, or even less frequent than that. I can never help but think it’s too little, too late.
I really want to go over there, but it’s going to be so fucking awkward and difficult. I don’t know if I’ve got the guts to go. Or if it’ll even be worth it.
Wednesday 4th August. So wonderfully excited for this. The last one we had was…2/3 years ago now. It is ridiculously overdue.. My friends are all fucking beautiful people, inside&out. I wouldn’t trade any of them; or any of our memories, for anything in the world.
There is nothing better than hanging out with your favourite people, half naked, cooking awesome food&slowly drinking yourself stupid.