I miss having someone to make an effort for, to dress up&look good for. Someone who cares what I look like, who sees something in me others don’t. I miss the anticipation of the journey and travelling to see someone special, gentle shakes&butterflies in the stomach.
I have a growing obsession with crosses/crucifixes. I have five necklaces&a bracelet with crosses on them,&I wear them all (Not at the same time,obviously). I’m not religious, but I can respect the connotations&message behind the symbol. They are my own personal reminder of my faith in my family&friends,&the strength&support they provide.
I recently claimed one of my Nan’s old gold crucifixes for myself,&I adore it. It holds so much sentimental value, as I think she recieved it when my Mum was only small, 40 odd years ago. Plus the fact I don’t actually have anything of hers to personally keep. I also love the fact it’s gold, as the piercing jewellery I have is surgical steel,&the bracelet I wear is silver. I never wear gold. It’s another little reminder of my aim to be different&unique.
Also. My body needs to man the fuck up. After not drumming for a year&a half I have offically fucked my hands&fingers up. I need to work through it&toughen the skin up, but boy does that hurt. My thighs&calves are also feeling the burn. It’s all good though, I’m getting it back. Slowly.
I’m a simple lad, I’ve never been spoilt or been a brat or whiny. But there’s something I REALLY want right now. I just want a girl. Someone I can drink and smoke with, be comfortable and talk with. I want someone to wrestle with, someone to fight, let off steam and make up with. I want someone to watch trashy TV and films with, someone to read to. Someone to share good food&wine over a candlelit dinner with, someone to get nasty greasy takeout with. Someone unconventionally pretty, with a wicked sense of humour&awful laugh to match mine.